Wall Street

18 billion dollars!

That’s a shit-ton of money. Most of us cannot even wrap our poor little brains around that number. Most of us will never have a million dollars. Or 18 million dollars. But 18 billion dollars? Too difficult to imagine. Lets add some perspective.

The new stimulus plan passed by congress and heading to senate, where it is surely to be passed as well, is for $819 billion dollars. We won’t even get into that amount, or the disastrous effect it will have on you and I. Well, ok, we’ll get into a little. Where do you think that money actually comes from? It’s ours! Yours! But, no, you won’t have to actually chip in on it. It’s a tricky secret tax. See, the Fed will pull this money out of their assholes to give to the government as a loan. A loan that will never be paid back. So where does it really come from? Well, the money in your pocket just dropped in value. By how much, I don’t know, but since the Fed and the US government started operating this way together in 1913, the dollar has dropped in value by 96%.

Think about it.

But I digress.

My outrage at the inflation this supposed ‘stimulus’ package will eventually created will be saved for another day. For now we are talking about 18 billion dollars. (You have to say Billion in your head in real maniacal way with an evil laugh. If you have a white cat, stroke it).

Why 18 billion? In case you haven’t heard, it was reported that Wall Street executives, from the very companies receiving the $819 billion bailout, were paid $18 billion dollars in bonuses in 2008! Did you get a bonus in 2008? You and I are paying these people $819 billion, and they already gave themselves $18 billion! I could repeat this over and over, but it will still blow me away. The failing markets responsible in part for the mess we are in thought it ok to give themselves bonuses. The 6th largest amount in bonuses in history! In 2008!!

This stimulus package contains a $500 payroll credit for most working Americans.

Let’s look at this.

If 18 billion was distributed to EVERY American, it ends up being about $60 a piece. Divided among adults over 18, it’s closer to $80. Factor out folks over 65, and it’s about $100. Considering the average working American is only going to see $500 in a payroll credit from this bailout, I think this number is significant.

It is amazingly difficult to obtain details about where this money is going. For some reason they don’t want us to know. Obama has promised to post online the spending details so we may track it, but not until after it is passed. We are kept in the dark. I do know about $9 billion is going to help repair the country’s infrastructure – roads, bridges, tunnels, and levees. Levees. Think they need some help? And they are getting a portion of the infrastructure money which is HALF of what Wall Street got in bonuses!

Part of this stimulus is aimed at job creation. It’s estimated that by investing $100 billion, over two years, the US could create 2 million jobs. That’s 2,000 jobs for every billion dollars. So $18 billion could theoretically create 360,000 jobs! Would that help?? (I know it’s not as simple as this, but humor me on this one. )

So, what can we do? GET PISSED OFF! The President and/or congress can ask for this money back. That’s right. We want the $18 Billion Dollars! I would be thrilled to get a check for $100 out of the pocket of some rich Wall Street exec who doesn’t deserve it. Never mind the other billions he is about to receive! Better yet, I would gladly give up my portion of the $18 billion to see it used for something needed in this country. Fix the roads bridges and levees. Give a raise to every teacher in America. Put it towards public healthcare. Anything. Just don’t allow some douchebag to put an addition on his place in the Hamptons.

Mr. President, Please, on behalf of the American people, take back our $18 Billion!!!!

Rod Blogojevich

Anyone named Rod, you need to watch out for baggery. Seriously. Is it short for something? Rodney? That doesn’t make it much better. And this giant douche I’m certain is proud to be a Rod. A dick. Basically the same thing. Dick Blogojevich. Or however the fuck you spell it. Blah-goy-oh-vitch. That’s a name you can trust!

So he apparently ditched his trial to make the rounds on the talkshow circuit. That just screams innocence, doesn’t it? "The fix is in," Blagojevich declared on ABC's "Good Morning America." A man with as much a gambling history as Dick should know a thing or two about a fix. "Under these rules, I'm not even getting a fair trial; they're just hanging me.” His long drawn out comparison to a cowboy being lynched was neat.

Can we really blame anyone but ourselves? I mean, look at his hair. We should have known he was a piece of shit. You can tell a lot about a man by his hair, you know.

And before this scandal broke, Rod spent almost all his time in Chicago. As the governor of Illinois. Now, some of you without the benefit of a third grade education may wonder why this is an issue. Like governor dick-rod, you apparently are not aware of the location of the state’s capitol. Springfield. Where the governor is supposed to work.

But, spending his time in Chi-town as he does, and residing over the great state of Illinois, one would assume that gov. ass-rod is a Bears fan, which could be his only redeeming quality. (No, I am not a Bears fan, but nothing but respect for the Norse division. Those poor, poor Lions!)

Well, ladies and gentleman, here is the full fisted shocker: He is a Dallas Cowboys fan. Enough said. Douchebag

Introduction to DB's

From Wikipedia: A douche is a device used to introduce a stream of water into the body for medical or hygienic reasons, or the stream of water itself.

Douche usually refers to vaginal irrigation, the rinsing of the vagina, but it can also refer to the rinsing of any body cavity. A douche bag is a piece of equipment for douching - a bag for holding the fluid used in douching. To avoid transferring intestinal bacteria into the vagina, the same bag must not be used for a vaginal douche and an enema.

Both douche and douche bag are derogatory slang terms used commonly in the United States and some other areas.

My interpretation:

Douchebags are not assholes. They are not idiots. They aren't retards, dicks or morons. They are all of these things, yet none of them at the same time. Whereas an asshole may know he'she is an asshole, a dick most likely realizes he is being a dick, and a moron may have, well, bad example with the last one, but a DB doesn't know he/she is a DB. A Douchebag most likely thinks he/she is the greatest thing in the universe, and therein lies the douchebaggery.

We all know them, and deal with them on a daily basis. By simple definition, some of us are douchebags, unless by some complete miracle I've created a DB-proof blog. Doubt it. There is a very real possibility that you are, in fact, a douchebag. Remember, by definition, you will not know it! Sorry about your luck. Hey, maybe you'll make the blog someday!

Which brings us to the blog. Douchebags piss me off, and I feel the need to bitch about it. That's all. If you have a DB you would like to bitch about, let me know about it, and I will determine if that person is, in fact, a douche, or if it's just you. Then I will graciously let you know about your doucheiness. Which raises an interesting dilemma. If a douche does not know he is a douche, and I tell him, or he finds out by reading this blog, does he then cease to be a douchebag? I seriously doubt it. Perhaps the definition needs some work...