Rod Blogojevich

Anyone named Rod, you need to watch out for baggery. Seriously. Is it short for something? Rodney? That doesn’t make it much better. And this giant douche I’m certain is proud to be a Rod. A dick. Basically the same thing. Dick Blogojevich. Or however the fuck you spell it. Blah-goy-oh-vitch. That’s a name you can trust!

So he apparently ditched his trial to make the rounds on the talkshow circuit. That just screams innocence, doesn’t it? "The fix is in," Blagojevich declared on ABC's "Good Morning America." A man with as much a gambling history as Dick should know a thing or two about a fix. "Under these rules, I'm not even getting a fair trial; they're just hanging me.” His long drawn out comparison to a cowboy being lynched was neat.

Can we really blame anyone but ourselves? I mean, look at his hair. We should have known he was a piece of shit. You can tell a lot about a man by his hair, you know.

And before this scandal broke, Rod spent almost all his time in Chicago. As the governor of Illinois. Now, some of you without the benefit of a third grade education may wonder why this is an issue. Like governor dick-rod, you apparently are not aware of the location of the state’s capitol. Springfield. Where the governor is supposed to work.

But, spending his time in Chi-town as he does, and residing over the great state of Illinois, one would assume that gov. ass-rod is a Bears fan, which could be his only redeeming quality. (No, I am not a Bears fan, but nothing but respect for the Norse division. Those poor, poor Lions!)

Well, ladies and gentleman, here is the full fisted shocker: He is a Dallas Cowboys fan. Enough said. Douchebag