the Grammys...

Robert Plant said in his acceptance speech that this used to be called “selling out”. Got some news for you, Robert…

Neil Diamond’s spoken word performance…

Paul McCartney. Why do you have to be the only Beatle left?

But still, my heart belongs to the biggest Douche of them all…

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I don’t understand the Jonas Bros. I just don't get it. They’re playing with Stevie Wonder on the Grammy’s?!!

Stevie. Oh Stevie. If you could see yourself right now.

It’s like he’s been working through a bucket list or something.

Superbowl: Check. Lifetime Achievement Award: Check.

Boy Band: Check.

He’s letting these douchfags sing superstition? And the Ralph Machio looking kid fucked up the lyrics.

“Better wash your face and hands? “ Did he just say that? (bum bum bum bum-bumbum bum-bumbum)

Awesome. Blink 182. So cool they’re still around. They just announced they’re getting back together. I’m not sure anyone knew they had broken up. Did it matter? Does it matter? Pop Punk is so relevant. Blink One Eighty Green Day is really awesome. Really, really awesome.

Best Rock album – Coldplay. Rock? ROCK??!!!!!

Don’t they have a pussy alternative category anymore? I mean. Metallica was in the same category as Coldplay! Let me say that again so you can really think about it:

Metallica was in the same category as Coldplay.

And lost. Of course, don’t even get me started on Metallica. Used to think they were cool and badass. Then it turns out they were the kids who tried to hang out with the real cool badass kids, but when they weren’t invited to the party they turned around and called the cops on it. Douchebags.

The Coldplay guy was gonna cry. There’s not crying in rock!! How about Coldplay being in the same category for some of these things as Radiohead! Not possible. How can a band that has tried so hard to be Radiohead actually be in competition with them? Bullshit. Radiohead should kick their asses! Now that would be a Grammy show!

And just to make it worse, it turns out they still have the alternative category, and Radiohead won. But Coldplay rocks.

Wow. Kanye West is something. Something alright. He’s like Bobby Brown and Puff Diddy all in one.

Wow. Girl with Kanye. That trash bag you’re wearing is very futuristic. At least it has pockets.

I think the best new artist is the only one that should be allowed to cry and freak out when they win. I mean, get over yourselves, people. At least the musicians aren’t half as bad as the actors. I saw a few minutes of the Oscars or one of those shows a few weeks ago. What a bunch of pretentious bullshit! That bitch from Titanic was crying her eyes out, thanking every fucking person in the world that made this miracle possible. She’s a fucking actress. She has a particular skill for which she is employed, same as the guy who cleans out the urinals at the movie theater. It’s a job. Get over it. You act. As anyone who has ever been a bartender, waitress, or really any position in customer service/relations can tell you, it’s fucking easy! Remember playing make believe as a kid? Now imagine getting millions of dollars for it. You don’t deserve an award, let alone to stand on stage crying about it for 10 minutes!

But I digress...

TAKE OFF THOSE FUCKING GLASSES!!!!!! Goddammit, Bono is such a fucking Douchebag.